The “friend” in today’s Gospel finally gets out of bed because of the impudence, the ignoring of convention, the shamelessness of the man at the door. This bit about impudence or shamelessness strikes me; perhaps because I’m engaged in a bit of it myself. Like a lot of people these days, I’m in the midst of looking for a job. This means that I’m contacting a lot of people I’ve known over the years and shamelessly asking if they know of any openings where they work. It’s not my strong suit. Asking people via conversation and email, looking through my list of contacts over the years, and, of course, knocking and knocking on any door I can find feels as though I’m making a nuisance of myself. But that’s the way to find a job. Sort of the same way that Jesus seems to be saying this is a means of prayer.
But sometimes, in both cases, it doesn’t work, does it? Sometimes it feels like we ask and look and knock over and over again and no one ever comes to the door. No matter how many people mention your name to another, you still find yourself sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. And no matter how persistent I may be in certain prayers, there are things to which God has yet to respond.
I have no idea why God sometimes seems to act like the friend who will not get out of bed. But I do know that Jesus was never trying to say that God responds only to repeated requests or formulaic prayers. This is, after all, what the disciples (and I) want—prayer that is effective and causes the Heavens to open up and rain down our heart’s desire.
That isn’t, however, what Jesus provides. In fact, he is less concerned with the how of prayer than the why behind it. We can see this evidenced in the images Jesus uses throughout this week’s passage—friends, fathers and sons. Both point to relationships. And this, for me, is what today’s reading is all about.
The people I’ve emailed and called over the past several weeks haven’t been strangers, they were people I knew who, because of their relationship with me, are willing to help me, just as I would them. And over the years, I’ve maintained contact with them not because of what they can do for me but because I cared for them and wanted their life to remain in close contact with mine.
Prayer is not about saying the right things or keeping in touch with God in case you need something, it’s a means of maintaining and growing our relationship with the Divine. It doesn’t mean that we can’t ask for things that we need, but we always must remember that this isn’t the reason we have entered into conversation with the one who loves us more than any other.
My friend, I do not understand why no matter how long I ask, seek, and knock no answer seems to come. Help me to remember that prayer is more than request and receipt and give to all the desires of their heart.